


it's rare when the panic in my mind feels so damn good

by sinandmisery



Category: Birds of Prey (And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn) (2020)
Genre: F/F, First Dance, First Kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-09
Updated: 2020-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:07:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23079091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinandmisery/pseuds/sinandmisery
Summary: Friends, she reminds herself.They're justfriends, and they're in real life, not in some cliche romantic comedy. And anyway, Dinah had only asked her to dance because she'd discovered Helena had never actually danced with anyone, not out of some sort of actual desire to be pressed close to each other.
Relationships: Helena Bertinelli/Dinah Lance
Comments: 24
Kudos: 338





	it's rare when the panic in my mind feels so damn good

**Author's Note:**

> So Cathy Yan tweeted [this](https://twitter.com/CathyYan/status/1232431645770186753) a few weeks ago and I immediately knew I had to write this so... here we are.

The day after the whole thing with Sionis, Dinah had shown up at Helena's door with a bag full of greasy burgers and fries, a bottle of whiskey, some device she called a 'fire stick' and a promise to give her a full education of pop culture she’d missed out on for the last two decades or so, along with an introduction to the best lesser known food in Gotham.

It quickly became a bit of a tradition for the two of them - take down a few bad guys, then end up at one of their places with some horribly greasy (but delicious) food and whatever movie or TV show Dinah had decided on that day.

Which is exactly how they've ended up here: stretched out on Dinah's couch, half eaten pizza and a few beer bottles abandoned on the coffee table, some late 90s teen rom-com Helena can't remember the name of playing on the TV, and Dinah's legs tossed across Helena's lap.

\---

(Helena had groaned a little when Dinah first suggested pizza, but Dinah grabbed her hand and said _just trust me_ , and Helena was helpless to protest. When they stepped into the subterranean pizza parlor ten blocks from Dinah's place - a place she'd probably passed a hundred times and never noticed - and were greeted with a thick Sicilian accent, Helena couldn't help the smile that broke out.

Dinah just bumped her shoulder and said, "You can tell me how legit it is."

(It was legit.))

\---

"Did you go to your prom?" Helena asks as the credits roll.

"Junior year, yeah," Dinah says. "I got kicked out for spiking the punch, so they banned me from all school dances after that."

"You did not," Helena says, laughing as she thinks of a 17 year old Dinah slipping a flask full of Vodka into a punch bowl.

"I did. I got lucky they didn’t kick me out, but the principal had a soft spot for me ‘cause of my mom."

Helena offers a sad smile, hating that one of the things they have in common is the loss of their parents at a young age. "You would have gotten me in so much trouble in high school if I was still in Gotham."

"No offense, H, but I’m pretty sure you would not have been slumming it in Gotham's public school system," Dinah says, nudging Helena with her foot.

Helena chuckles, holding up her hands in mock surrender. "Okay, fair enough. But my point stands."

"Did you have school dances in Sicily?"

"No idea," Helena says with a shrug. "I was homeschooled, kind of."

"Kind of?"

"I mean, it wasn't like traditional home schooling, I didn't have classes or anything, but I learned enough. Outside of training, there wasn't much to do - they had this old black and white TV that was basically used for watching football and shitty 80s crime movies, and they had books, so I read everything I could get my hands on."

Dinah nods, and then throws her legs off of Helena's and hauls herself up so she's standing. "Alright, come on," she says, holding her hand out to Helena.

Helena, for her part, just looks confused. "What?"

"Come on," Dinah repeats, thrusting her hand forward again. "Time for you to have your first dance. Can't let you miss out on that quintessential high school moment."

"There's no music?" Helena says, but the confusion in her voice makes it come out more like a question and she winces at how awkward it sounds.

"Thanks," Dinah says, rolling her eyes playfully as Helena takes her hand. "I hadn't noticed."

"But how will we..." Helena wonders aloud, but lets Dinah pull her up and lead them to an open space to the side of the couch illuminated by yellow glow of the street lamps through the window.

"Put your hands here," Dinah tells her as she guides Helena's slightly trembling hands to her own hips. She leaves her hands over Helena's for a moment until the trembling stops, then drags her fingers up Helena's arms, over lightly scarred skin and rippled muscle, until her own arms come to rest on Helena's shoulders.

"Relax," she says with a smile that Helena's sure could illuminate all of Gotham; the same smile that makes Helena's insides twist and her cheeks burn red.

Helena closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, trying to will her muscles to relax and her heart to stop racing, but all she can concentrate on is how warm Dinah's skin is under her fingertips and she growls at herself in frustration.

"Hey, if you don't want to..." Dinah offers, taking a half step back to put a few extra inches between them, even if Helena's hands stay on her hips and her arms stay draped over Helena's shoulders.

"No!" Helena shouts, eyes flying open. She winces at the level of her own voice and clears her throat. "No. I do. You're... it's... good."

"So _relax_ ," Dinah says, smiling as she brushes her thumb against the tense cord of muscle alongside Helena's neck, just below the curve of her jaw. This, of course, has the opposite of the intended reaction in Helena, her jaw clenching and unclenching as she swallows the urge to shout _How do you expect me to relax when you’re doing **that**?_

Minor outburst a moment ago aside, she’s gotten better at that - at tamping down on explosive, awkward reactions to innocent comments - but having Dinah this close, touching her like this, is an entirely different animal that kind of short circuits her brain.

"Just follow me," Dinah says, shifting closer as she starts to slowly sway her hips.

Helena's movements are stiff and jerky at first, barely moving out of both fear of doing something wrong and the lack of music, but then Dinah starts softly humming a song Helena doesn't recognize and slowly her hips fall in sync with the movement of Dinah's. (Albeit, not quite as effortlessly, but it's a work in progress.)

Dinah smiles at her and Helena hopes the one she flashes in return doesn't look as forced and awkward as it feels tugging at the corners of her mouth.

Her heart is racing as she lets herself close the small gap between them so they're pressed hip to hip, the fingers of her right hand flexing against Dinah's hip before she slides her arm around her waist, fingers resting against the exposed skin of Dinah's lower back.

"Good," Dinah says, her fingers playing against the back of Helena's neck, nails scratching at the sensitive skin. "You're getting the hang of it."

Helena just nods, afraid of what stuttering mess might escape if she tries to speak. She feels like she's on fire - like every nerve ending is working overtime, hyper aware of every millimeter of contact between her body and Dinah's - and is thankful for Dinah's body pressed against hers for the simple fact that she's not even sure she'd be able to stand on her own otherwise.

Dinah shifts, her right hand sliding down to grip Helena's bare shoulder as she tucks her face against Helena's neck. Helena sucks in a breath and closes her eyes as they continue to dance, trying to focus on moving in sync with Dinah and listening to her soft humming instead of the soft puffs of breath across her clavicle or the overwhelming urge to dip her head down and capture Dinah's lips with her own like the closing scene of the movie they'd just watched.

_Friends_ , she reminds herself.

They're just _friends_ , and they're in real life, not in some cliche romantic comedy. And anyway, Dinah had only asked her to dance because she'd discovered Helena had never actually danced with anyone, not out of some sort of actual desire to be pressed close to each other.

"Stop thinking so loud," Dinah says, her lips brushing almost imperceptibly against Helena's skin and startling her from her thoughts.

"Sorry," Helena mutters, realizing her entire body has tensed up again.

"Don't be," Dinah says, lifting her head to look up at Helena. "All good?"

Helena nods. "Yeah, all good," she says. "Thanks. For, uh, offering to be my first dance."

Dinah smiles, all teeth and dimples to die for, and twists her fingers in ends of Helena's hair. "You're a natural."

Helena, well aware of her own awkwardness, knows that Dinah is just being nice, but she smiles anyway and says, "Well, I had a good teacher."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," Helena says, nodding slowly.

"Anything else I could teach you?" Dinah asks, and Helena's pretty sure she's _not_ imagining the way her eyes keep darting down to her mouth, but she _has_ to be.

Right?

"Uh... maybe?"

"Just _maybe_?" Dinah asks, teeth sinking into her lower lip as she looks up at Helena through her lashes.

"Y- Yes?" Helena stutters out, voice at least half an octave higher than normal.

"H," Dinah says, voice low and scratchy, "I'm trying to ask if I can kiss you right now."

"Oh." Helena freezes for a moment, processing. "I've never..."

Dinah smiles, soft and sweet, and uses the hand on the back of Helena's neck to tilt her head down. "Just follow me," she whispers and finally - _finally_ \- her lips meet Helena's.

It takes a moment for Helena's brain to register the press of Dinah's mouth against her own - so long, in fact, that she feels Dinah start to pull away - but she moves her hand from where it's resting on Dinah's back to her neck to keep her from going too far. She kisses back, her mouth insistent in a way that belies the knots in her stomach, and feels Dinah's lips curl into a smile against her own.

Dinah's mouth shifts, teeth grazing Helena's bottom lip before her tongue slips against it to sooth the dull, pleasant ache, and Helena's proud of the fact that her knees don't give out right then and there. Instead, she meets Dinah's tongue with her own, hesitant and searching, and revels in the tiny sounds she manages to draw from Dinah.

When they finally part, Dinah - face flushed pink and breathless - wipes at her smeared lipstick with her thumb, squints at Helena and asks, "You sure you haven't done this before?"

Helena just laughs, louder than she means to, and says, _I told you, I had a good teacher,_ before kissing her once again.


End file.
